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VAGUE's hot list of (mostly) crime sites on the Web annotated by The Reverend Doctor J.P. (I Say It's Spinach!) Partland

  [Crime Stats] [Orgs] [Press] [Criminal Justice] [Tastes Good]

  Crime Stats  
  1. Chicken with Sesame, Cumin, Tomato, Bread Crumbs, Ginger, Potatoes
    Criminal Justice Statistics Links

    All the factoids you can eat. Numbers from many lands. Stats on Asian crime, fraud, rifles, drunk driving, sentencing, child abuse and more, from Argentina to Slovenia.

  2. Hominy Grits, Cold
    Statistics on Crime, U.S. Dept. of Justice Bureau of Justice — Key Stats at a Glance.

    Bookmark this page! It's like watching true-crime television, the nightly news and news magazines — minus the car chases, frightening perps and "tough on crime" pols spouting about how the system is too kind to criminals. Just the cold, white, gritty stats showing crime down, drug arrests up and more people than ever languishing in prison.

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  1. Meatloaf
    Regent U. — The Robertson School of Government Advocacy

    Plain presentation, varied ingredients made mysterious. No descriptions of organizations or sites warn you where your click will take you, but the bipartisan list of foundations, groups, institutions and organizations is a good place to start a tasting tour of the American political webscape. If you don't find the group you're looking for, keep scrolling.

  2. Liver, Tab

    Say goodbye to tired blood! For crimes against women, go to this richly veined site. It links to all kinds of organizations and resources for women-who-aren't-dupes-of-the-patriarchy. Dupes of the patriarchy talk back, with lo-cal humor at or cross their legs at the ankles and look way right at

  3. Grouse
    Cato Institute

    How refreshing! Finally, an organization that isn't afraid to admit what it stands for. "Market liberal" is the term of choice, but, "its meaning has clearly been corrupted by contemporary American liberals." Take that, you, um, well, those of you who wrap yourself in the mantle of liberalism. In case you haven't guessed it, these folks believe that their political beliefs reflect the real American philosophy, the one our founding fathers used, back when false teeth were wood.

  4. Hot Soufflé

    Legally sanctioned crime — a.k.a. the U.S. Congress. Learn all about your leaders; pull their strings. Make them dance, while those who pay the piper call the tune.

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  1. Roughage
    Worldnet Daily

    Their subtitle is "a free press for a free people." Site links to such liberating thinkers as Rush Limbaugh, and begs subscribers to stay regular.

  2. Pressed Beet
    Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting

    Watching Watchers Watch. FAIR makes the truth-tellers beholden to a higher truth: FAIR's. Their battle with Rush Limbaugh is a thankless pissing contest and webmeisters could do the site some good, although pages do load quickly. But FAIR often gets the goods.

  3. Pork Rinds, Naturally Irradiated
    American Newspeak

    Doubletalk will save us from hell. Make that permanent unpleasantness after life. Get some cheap laughs out of bad news. Wayne Grytting has made it his mission to protect us from doubletalk by the powerful, that is, those self-actualized individuals who've been appropriately rewarded.

  4. Applesauce
    Pro and Con

    "Jane you ignorant slut!" Not to worry: The debates on this site rarely get so contentious. Politely raised voices wafting over a sea of incomprehension certainly improves public discourse.

  5. Pastry Tray
    World News

    Every hometown newspaper delivered to your mailbox. Catch up on the goings on in Kurdistan or Kalamazoo. The links may take a while, and not all the papers serve the places they cover, but even if Armenian news coverage is based in California, you can taste the baklava.

  6. Egg on Tie
    Labor Policy by Borders Books

    In the great humanist literary tradition, Da Man slams down his iron fist. Borders, the "enlightened" chain bookseller, is so afraid of its wage slaves unionizing that they produced a booklet for managers to detect the earliest contractions of labor.

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  Criminal  Justice  
  1. Twelve-course Freeze-dried Trail-pack
    National Criminal Justice Reference Service

    Foil-wrapped and well organized under the sneeze-guard. No salt. No spices. Just the nutrition, ma'am. And plenty of it. For dessert? Granola navigation bar: Corrections | Courts | Crime Prevention | Criminal Justice Statistics | Drugs and Crime | New This Week | International | Juvenile Justice | Law Enforcement | Research and Evaluation | Victims | Current Highlights |

  2. Meal-replacement Drink for Lacto-ovo Vegetarians on the Run from the Mob

    Want to start a jail? Need to find the right people with the know-how to make your prospective jail the tightest joint on the block? This is the place to find out about impact training, remedial reading programs and how the Y2K bug will affect you.

  3. Home-baked Cake with File Filling
    The Other Side of the Wall
    Prison Law Linx

    Can criminal justice links be sexy and fun? Dream on, prisoner of delusion. But, luckily, there are some lighter loops in this heavily chain-linked gateway site. A lively, informative site that's down by law on the prison legal scene.

  4. Mail-order Blood Sausage
    UK Overview Site

    Jails as public-works projects of the future! Fun! Employment! Housing! View pictures of private and public prisons. Contemplate the meaning of the term, "co-correctional." Or, visit their Resources page for some meaty links.

  5. Virtual Pecan Pie

    At the idea of a cybersquirrel nibbling on a child pornography page, one gets pretty excited. That excitement will be rewarded only if one's driving desire is to learn the laws governing kiddie porn on the Internet. But this cybercrime gateway site takes a fairly complete look at the rights and responsibilities of those navigating the virtual sea: intellectual property, case history and laws about economic espionage are all linked. Crunchy.

  6. Cool Whip

    Explore the zone where thievery, art and marketing meld, where snake oil, ponzi schemes, goat glands and Internet phone scams flourish.

  7. Chocolate Chip and Macadamia Nut Cookie Dough
    The Smoking Gun

    Real-life documents entered as evidence prove that truth is stranger than fiction. Would you like to see Monica dirt from the little Lolita herself? Messy divorce papers from Scientologist celebrities? All that to snack upon and more.

  8. Fugu
    Pen Pals

    These convicted felons can't stalk you; they're behind bars. While they do have e-mail addresses, they're forced to use pen and paper — Internet access being a "frill." So take pity on a poor lonely loser and say Hi. Maybe a conjugal visit is in your future.

  9. Fruit Cocktail, Canned
    Prisons Through the Lens of Hollywood

    Oh the inside of a movie prison! A good place for the likes of Brubaker or Virgil Starkwell, but not so good for the weakling: He always gets chronically abused. This site gives the straight dope on how the prison movie evolved and how it compares to the real thing.

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  Tastes Good  
  1. Hot Cross Buns
    Adult Christianity!

    "When beauty wanes and careers begin to fade, two traditional options remain for actors who want to work. The first is infomercials; hawking anything and everything from psychic connections to treadmills. The second is fundamentalism." Boffo closet Christian extra! So what if the evidence is thin and the point is to trash reputations, this site is fun.

  2. Psilocybin Mushroom in Puff Pastry
    Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua

    This could be how the Rapture fad started — and how it will end. All the fun and verbal passion of a cult without the Kool Aid or the ride on Hale-Bopp.

  3. The Big One That Didn't Get Away, Fried

    The beauty of this Alcatraz is that you can get in without being convicted of a crime, and leave just as easily. Inside dope on The Rock. Guaranteed to be more accurate than any Hollywood production.

  4. Fatted Calf
    "Politically Incorrect" Transcripts

    Complete transcripts available from nearly all of PI's shows. If you thought it was impossible to get too much of Bill Maher.

  5. Soylent Green

    Scroll to the bottom and choose "Matrix." Matrix is ParaScope's area for investigative reports on conspiracies, crimes, cover-ups and disturbing social, political and economic goings-on. Something strange is happening — be a part of it.

  6. Roast
    Top Ten Political Humor Sites

    Considering the news these days, maybe skip it and head straight for the political humor commenting on the news. Find some of the most popular sites here and vote for the best candidate.

  7. Something with a "K" Sound in It
    Political Humor

    Digging for jokes is as easy as strip mining on this comprehensive political humor site.

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